Bye, bye love

Today I begin the process of grief as I embark on the journey of bidding farewell to one of my loved ones. We have been on many varied journeys throughout the course of our lives. Sometimes through stormy times (rain, snow and hail) and sometimes in the relative difficulty of high places followed by deep valleys (more difficult for me than her). I have held her tightly when the journey has taken us through some sharp and unexpected turns. She has been brave as she leans into the wind and holds firm.

I am willing to let her go, no, I must let her go. She will find someone else, and my heartcry is that she will be loved even as she knew I loved her. Her greatest gift to me was the freedom she brought into my life to live on a higher plane!

I will remember her as I let her go - as I watch her open her arms for another. We have bid farewell, although I continue to pass her present resting place, wondering, will there be another - will she be abandoned?

The disbelief and anger is there no longer. I know the grief process will continue unabated deep in my soul in the days that lie ahead.

Farewell, I will always remember you. Go forth into the arms of another and continue your journey of pure joy.

Where we worship

WORSHIP AND CONSUMERISM

I was interested again as I visited two places of worship yesterday (Sunday) to compare the people. The first place was a church at a time when many I saw at the next place were most probably still sleeping. At church many were elderly, dressed fairly formally (I looked resplendent in my suit, of course) and while they spoke freely to each other and there was some laughter in their interactions most people were fairly somber and serious. They did not look as if they were enjoying themselves!

I then went to the shopping mall. The music playing through the system was pleasant and the people looked happy. It would appear that "shopping", and being together with loved ones and family in a mall was a more relaxed and more enjoyable experience than being in church.

I guess it continues to reinforce my view that for a large part of the population consumenrism is a far more popular spirituality than anything churches/mosques/synagogues are offering. The religious communities that are growing in number attempt to reflect the consumer approach that meets many peoples spirituality. I am concerned at how pervasive this superficial spirituality is among all people - accross all socio-economic categories. The capitalists prey on anyone with a buck to spend. Morality and responsiblity in our capitalist world continues to exploit all people who are desparate for a better life economically.

There has to be another way.

My first blog

AN ANNIVERSARY

Here I sit, in virgin territory, as I post my first blog. It is a special day today. Exactly one year ago, to the day, my wife had a large tumour removed from her brain. A non-malignant acoustic neuroma (that's as far as my medical technical jargon goes) on the right side of her brain, touching the brain stem, about the size of a tennis ball was "debulked" in an 11 hour operation by two amazing neurosurgeons. Subsequently she has had radiostatic radiation that has, hopefully, necrotised the remaining tumour that could not be removed for fear of paralysis to the face. The only lasting effect is a scar hidden by her hair, some lack of feeling on her face and complete loss of hearing in her right ear (mostly used to her own advantage through a complicated process referred to as selective hearing). All a small price to pay for the wonderful joy of having her here with us.

Today I will continue to celebrate life, to live fully and laugh much.